From the Inside Looking Out: A Secret we All Share

That could never be me

Sunken deep
by the weight on my heart strings
wishing I could cut a cord
so that I could float away
That could never be me
Drowning in my own bed
so deeply
and to swim down seems like my only get-away
Tears leaving my eyes
where they belong, heavy
feeling like it no longer works to pray
That could never be me
chest constricting
short of breathe
for no reason than
my body planned this out for today
Spikes on my throat
I can’t swallow
can’t flush these feelings down
they say they’re here to stay
I guess I missed the memo
that yesterday was my final good day
But that could never ever be me
Or so I thought.
Until it hit me when it did
one afternoon
in a circle of my peers
When all these feelings came rushing in
drenching me in all my fears
The thoughts that couldn’t stop
never seem to disappear
And now my heart craves
another moment of laughter
where my chest isn’t aching
from holding back my tears
My loved ones all around me
front-seated at this premier
but no one seems to notice
No one seems to volunteer
When the clues were all there
I guess some battles are just your own
You have to fight as you cheer yourself on.

~I’m starting to entertain the possibility that I likely, just might be severely depressed.😊

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Depression, Inner Battles, mental health, Mental health awareness

Hassan Kassim

Hassan Kassim is a Mombasa-based Creative non-fiction writer, recently longlisted for the Toyin Falola prize, blogger and translator of Kiswahili work. A beneficiary of the Penpen program by African Writers Development Trust(AWDT) commissioned by Culture at Work Africa and the European Union(E.U), and holds his Bachelor’s degree in Maritime Management. Hassan writes about the ill-documented Communities of Coastal Kenya. His work has appeared in Writers Space Africa; his 2 non-fiction stories published in the anthology 'Twaweza,' a collaborative effort of 12 African writers on the African identity and set to appear in the forthcoming anthology for the Toyin Falola prize.

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